In the ER

Three days ago I became horribly sick. I went to see a good friend play the violin in a concert. By the time she started playing, I felt a little bit nauseated. I tried to brush the feeling aside because it seemed so strange to me because I had been feeling fine during the day.
I ended up having vomiting and diarrhea at the same time for the whole night. Anyone who has experienced both of these problems at the same time can relate to how miserable it makes you feel. I ended up having to go to the ER because I was too weak to sit up, my heart was racing, and I was starting to faint. I also have Adrenal Insufficiency so when I loose too many fluids, my blood pressure drops to a dangerously low level. I have to have IV cortisol to keep me from going into shock. I was too weak to walk down the three flights of stairs from my apartment to the car. I tried to walk and I only made it halfway down. My fiancé had to call an ambulance. I ended up spending six hours in the ER. The doctors gave me the choice to be admitted to the hospital or to go home. I choose to go home. I know that I should have stayed in the hospital but I just had to get out of there! I am so happy to be home. Hopefully, I will not have to go back to the ER. It is miserable to have stomach problems in the hospital when you constantly have to go to the bathroom, but you are hooked up to an IV that is attached to the wall. It just doesn't work. I am still experiencing diarrhea and nausea. My doctors are trying to figure out if I am having a serve herx reaction, a reaction to the Mepron and Zithromax medications, or if there is another cause of my stomach problems. I just want to feel better.
My mom wrote an email to my Lyme Support group friends explaining my situation. I received many supportive emails and phone calls. They have all been wonderful. It feels good to know that other people have gone through what I am dealing with right now. They did make it through. They did get better. I am hanging onto the hope that these symptoms are a herx reaction and that soon I will feel even better than I did a few days ago. Maybe I just have to go through this suffering to get better.

Fainting

Two days ago I went to the doctor to have more blood work done for my Lyme disease doctor. It was a fasting blood test so I had not eaten yet that morning. The nurse could not draw blood from my veins. He eventually had to try a vein near my wrist. He finally found a vein but the needle hurt so badly. I have never experienced that much pain from just puncturing my veins. Right after the pain, I felt myself start to faint. I told the nurse and he told me to take a deep breath. That did not help because I was blacking out. I couldn't see him. I know my body. He should have listened to me instead of dismissing me. I have problems with my autonomic nervous system and with my adrenal glands so I have fainted many times. The next thing that happened was that I was dreaming. The dreams were coming faster and faster. I do not remember what they were about. The next thing I knew I came to with my head in my lap and I could see six pairs of feet surrounding the chair. Apparently, I had been unconscious for a few minutes. The head nurse was talking to me and she told me that I had to keep talking to her and to keep my eyes open. It was so hard for me to stay awake and to talk. I felt awful and extremely weak. For the next hour, I lay in a reclining chair. I kept feeling as if I was going to faint again. I haven't fainted like that in a few years. I went home and felt awful for the rest of the day. It is frustrating to have that happen and then to have to "pay" for it for a few days. I am still not feeling back to what is "normal" for me. The ridiculous part of this story is that I am not scared of needles or of having my blood drawn. I think that the stress of the pain on my system before I had eaten or taken my adrenal medicine caused the fainting reaction. Now eveyone is going to think that I am afraid of needles. I hope that I do not faint again for a long time because when I wake up from it, I feel awful. I was so weak that it was really hard to talk for about 1 hour. What is going on right now? First I hurt my back and now I fainted. I just want to feel better.

Found a Support Group

Yesterday I attended a Lyme disease support group. I was surprised to find 25 people in attendance. All of the CFS support groups that I have been too are very small. My experience last night was positive, but also intense. I have a serious illness. Lyme disease has caused widespread pain in many families. Some people in the group are worse than I am and some people are better than I am. Usually I know more medical information than most people but this group put me to shame. I realized that I have a lot more to learn. I want to know which bands are positive for Lyme on my western blot test. I want to have a SPEC scan of my brain to check for lesions. I learned so much from the other group members. They even mentioned that Lyme disease is sexually transmitted and that most women pass it on to their children if they are not treated during their pregnancy. By the time that I left the meeting, my head was swimming with new information and new questions. I finally feel that other people understand what I go through every day. They have the same symptoms! It is amazing! There were actually two other members who had also been diagnosed with CFS for at least seven years and who now have been told that they actually have Lyme disease. Slowly I am accepting that I do not have CFS and that I truly do have Lyme disease. Meeting people who have the same symptoms that I do is actually encouraging to me. One woman showed us her PIC line in her arm. I really hope that I do not need IV antibiotics because I don't want to have a needle in my veins for months. Overall, attending the support group was a great experience. I recommend that everyone who suffers from a health condition find an appropriate support group.

Die-off Side Effects

I woke up a couple of days ago feeling awful. I am not sure if I have been pushing myself to do too much or if I am feeling the effects of the Lyme bacteria dying inside my body. When the bacteria die, they release toxins. The toxins can make us sick. The most prominent symptom that I am experiencing is fatigue. I also had a temperature of 100 yesterday. The book that I am reading about Lyme disease, "Coping with Lyme Disease" by Denise Lang, states that fever can be a symptom of the release of toxins. I have also noticed a marked increase in my klutziness. My cereal bowl flew out of my hand the other day. It was so ridiculous that I started laughing uncontrollably. Sometimes my fiance will witness me drop an object in a strange way and all we can do is laugh. This increase in my symptoms must be a die-off reaction but there is no way for me to know for sure. I hope that it is a die-off reaction that I am experiencing because that would mean that the antibiotics and the antiparasite medication that I am taking are doing their job=)

Back Injury-Good Move

Maybe injuring my back was a blessing. Since I can barley move, I have been forced to stay on the couch all day. I have been reading everything I can get my hands on about Lyme disease. I am getting used to the idea that I probably never had CFS and that I have had Lyme disease for seven years. Lyme disease is more treatable than CFS but it is also a more serious disease. I read in the doctor's office and in my own research that I can pass it on to my child. Wow, that information is scary. I am used to the idea that CFS patients have healthy babies. It is a very good thing that I now know that I have Lyme because I am planning on trying to have a baby in the next few years. I need to learn more about Lyme and pregnancy. Some of the literature says that women with Lyme can never breastfeed because the Lyme bacteria pass into breast milk.
The more I learn about Lyme disease, the more I am accepting that I have it. I have so many of the weird symptoms like sensitivity to sound, sensitivity to light, clumsiness to the point of dropping things, and worsening of my symptoms during my menstrual period.

Fell Down

The morning after my doctor's appointment, I fell in my apartment and hurt my back. I was putting together a chair to use to sit outside in the sun in and read about Lyme disease. I went to sit in it and it was not assembled correctly so I hit the hard would floor with my back. For a few minutes, I was unable to move at all. I tried to sit up but I couldn't. I was really scared that I had broken a small bone in my back since my bones are weak. I called my finance and my mom. They both drove home to help me. I managed to get up eventually and crawl to my bed. I lay on my bed for over an hour waiting for them to get here.
After spending the afternoon in urgent care, I learned that I did not have any broken bones, but that I had sprained my back. I feel ridiculous. I found out that I had Lyme disease and now I have injured myself. I feel like I am a disaster because I am always struggling with my health. If it isn't one thing, it's another. I am in a lot of pain. Back injuries are terrible. I can barley walk. I have to waddle around with my butt sticking out=) I feel relieved to know that it should heal on it's own over time. I just hope that the pain gets better soon.