Pulling My Weight

David and I got married on October 1, 2005=) Lately, I have been feeling guilty that I cannot share the household work with him to the extent that I would like to. Mentally I am happy to help out more. Right now I am pushing myself as it is to be a more active member of our "team." I am taking on the organization of our personal lives. It is a huge endeavor for me because I have so little energy and therefore so little productive time in a day. For the last couple of months, I feel like all I do is paperwork. I know that is not true but it is taking up all of my energy and I still feel like I am not pulling my weight. It is hard to be married and to feel guilty that I cannot do more to help my husband. I am struggling right now. I become defensive if he even sort of suggests that I could have done more because I really want to do more but I am trapped in a body that cannot do more! For the record, my husband is a wonderful, supportive man. He handles my illness with grace. I know that it is normal for him to feel frustrated that he does not have a fully functioning wife. Sometimes he feels as if he has to do everything for us. I do not like that he feels that way but I know that it is beyond my control. I can only do what I can do. I push myself and I try as hard as I can. I cannot wait to feel better and be able to do more for us!!!