2nd Opinion Lyme specialist

Today I told my story. Today I recounted nine years of doctor's appointments, nine years of medical tests, and nine years of different diagnoses. I did it in extreme detail to the best of my ability. I started my health history timeline with the tick bite when I was five years old. My mom sat with me and the two of us tried to remember all of my childhood illnesses. We told this new lyme doctor my history. By telling him my history, I told him my disappointments. I did it with vernacular including words such as the Mayo Clinic, Spec scans, and adrenal insufficiency. Every word that I uttered was a medical word. Mostly, I talked about my symptoms and their possible causes. This new doctor was good. I do not usually state such simple ideas as "good" and bad" but I truly liked him and I trust the advice that he gave me as to how to proceed with my treatment for Babesiosis and Lyme disease. I know that I should have felt like the appointment was productive. I left feeling numb. Somehow the act of putting nine years of pain and suffering onto 3 pieces of paper is upsetting. Has it really been nine years since I collapsed? I have tried multiple therapies and I have sought the advice of multiple specialists. The cycle of hope and disappointment was apparent to me as I reiterated my story today. How do I know if this new doctor will give me hope as I try his treatment options only to disappoint me in a few months or a few years from now when his protocol fails? The truth is that I do not know. I still have hope. Hope keeps me going. I want to get better. I do not know exactly why I still have hope but I am thankful that I do. Maybe the experience of being human innately makes us want to be hopeful. If we don't have hope, we cannot keep living.